


les images irrésistible

by Mother_North



Series: Heartache [1]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Coach-Student Relationship, Emotional, Light Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unresolved Sexual Tension, series of One-shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 17:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13299912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_North/pseuds/Mother_North
Summary: Brian watches Yuzuru grow and evolve through various stages of his life and skating career, chasing away images of something which is never meant to be.





	les images irrésistible

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sophiahelix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophiahelix/gifts).



> Don’t know what came over me with the idea of introducing Brian’s perspective into the work, which was initially written as a little dedication to the awesomeness of various Yuzuru’s skating programs. This is the reason of it being structured in the form of a series of ten separate one-shots.  
> This work is not meant to offend anyone and is a product of author’s imagination only. Usual RPF disclaimer applies.  
> P.S. I would like to gift this work to sophiahelix for her inspiring writing.

**

**Blue Flame (The Etude)**

There were talks about a very promising, young Japanese kid going on for quite some time already. They said his potential was huge and he used to catch everyone’s eyes the first moment he stepped onto the ice, there was something hardly describable, but still no less vivid, about him that made it really hard not to look at him, drinking in each of his movements. Brian watched him threw pitch-perfect triple axels practically out of nowhere several times and he had to agree that it was rather impressive even to him. The passion with which the willowy youngster skated was extremely raw yet pristine and this paradoxical combination stood out to Brian in the first place. It was apparent that the lad, whose name Brian didn’t manage to memorize at once, was there to stay and to define the face of men’s figure skating in the years to come if his inborn talents were to be realized in full. His deep blue costume was something extraordinary. It highlighted the fluidity of his motions turning his fragile frame into a vision of a powerful wave. Turbulent musical passages by Scriabin collided with his barely restrained youthful vigor to make a long lasting impression. Perhaps, it did look like a torrent of water from the outside but Brian couldn’t help but sense that there was a flame raging wild inside the unusual kid.

 _Blue Flame_ had quickly become a force to be reckoned with.

 

**Romeo & Juliet I **

World Championships 2012, Nice, France.  Senior Men’s Free Skate. It looked like a super-nova was born on that evening. It was shining blindly for everyone to see. Its light reached the deepest and illuminated the darkest. The kid had won millions of hearts and Brian caught himself wondering what was going on in his delicately looking chest while he was skating as if his whole further destiny depended on the final outcome of his performance. Such selfless abandon took your breath away in the blink of an eye and it was impossible to ignore its piercing impact. As the young skater was gasping for air with his slightly bluish thin lips while the audience seemingly lost their minds, Brian thought to himself that he was definitely looking at the future world champion at that special moment. There was something unbreakable behind the childlike innocent features which spoke of an inner core of formidable strength. A lot of ships would crash against its rock hard surface which is probably able to withstand the cruelest of sea-storms.

Still, the kid’s smile was just as super-cute as the way he was cradling his indispensible yellow plushie in his slender arms…Though, Brian couldn’t be tricked that easily.

 

**Parisienne Walkways**

The jaunty flow of the bluesy electric guitar was filling the ice-rink as Brian was watching his newly obtained pupil skate to the rock masterpiece by Gary Moore. _Yuzuru Hanyu_ the name which he now not only knew how to pronounce and spell correctly but also held dearly to his heart of a coach. The diamond in his hands was sharp-edged but no less precious. Quad toe loop? — Easy. Triple Axel from the hardest entry imaginable? — Yes, please. It was at times scary to see, the way Yuzuru gave himself to training entirely, without a thought of sparing his still growing body even in the slightest extent. Brian gesticulated and mouthed his demands to take it a bit slower with outmost patience while Yuzuru was smiling his best disarming smile and nodding furiously in agreement only to skate away and throw himself into one more quad right in front of his coach’s ruddy face. Brian heaved, Brian bristled and fumed yet he couldn’t admit that Yuzuru’s stubborn determination was nothing short of extraordinary. They both would have to work it out somehow in the future but, as for now, Brian wasn’t sure Yuzuru knew the meaning of the word “ _compromise_ ” even in his native Japanese.

Blue shirt with frills and black pants with a metallic buckle to have a walk through buzzing _Parisienne Walkways_. It truly turned out to be a very special _“walk_ ” that had made history with its first ever 101.45 points. Although, Brian couldn’t say that he wasn’t sort of anticipating it because he was by any means clueless of the highest level of Yuzuru’s skating capabilities.

The cheeky smile, the cocky little tilt of a head with mischievous gleam in the impenetrable dark eyes— a sure recipe to steal hearts right and left. Brian felt his cheeks warming with the faintest red hue as he was watching Yuzuru’s slender fingers slide down his narrow boyish hips. There wasn’t anything particularly scandalous about the fact because everyone else’s gazes were following exactly the same path anyway.

 

**Notre Dame de Paris**

_Pinkish_. The costume was pinkish with insertions of a slightly transparent white fabric and, of course, there were frills and frills and frills with some vintage looking long sleeves and a tiny, concealed zipper all the way down the back to let this peculiar article of clothing be taken off in case of necessity. But to top it all, there was also a flamboyant cross made of false diamonds adorning Yuzuru’s fragile chest. Brian was ready to bet that the way it was shining blinded the first few rows of public but, unfortunately, it seemed not to affect the strict judging in any way. Maybe, it was just supposed to be _over the top and dramatic_ to suit the music of the skating program better. Brian thought that it was definitely a matter of acquired taste as he was looking at the little feathery decorations on the fine curve of Yuzuru’s upper thigh. The costume wasn’t quite that bad after all. It’s interesting, though, who’s image it was meant to project..? — Not Quasimodo’s, for sure. Brian was a bit puzzled as an option of Esmeralda kept on invading his thoughts repeatedly while he was watching Yuzuru drink tentatively from the fluffy white-pink bottle which was matching the skater’s outfit perfectly. The smoothness of his pale, unblemished skin and the cupid bow of his lush lips were constantly serving as an inexplicable magnet to Brian’s shifting gaze. Not even once, though, did he ever let his eyes linger more than some pitiful seconds on Yuzuru’s enticing form. Brian’s fingers were squashing the supple yellow-red toy as the Japanese skater was flying across the ice, dissolving into the tender sounds of a romantic melody. Yuzuru’s lines were impeccable — second to none, truth be told, and Brian couldn’t tear his eyes off of him even if he wanted to. It was his job after all: to register each of Yuzuru’s steps, to count each spin, to analyze each jumping pass. Brian would never afford himself throw a shadow at his ethics of a professional coach. Some things should remain untouchable and some fences could never be breached. Brian was perfectly aware of it and so he averted his eyes whenever Yuzuru’s nymphetic vision left him speechless.

 

**Romeo & Juliet II**

A tragedy of the doomed love, a will to fight against ruthless destiny, a desire of the two lovers to unite one last time, if only on the deathbed…The poignant sting of unfulfilled desire right through the beating heart. Brian thought that one had to know what love was in order to skate such thematic program truthfully and without an ounce of pretense. He wasn’t sure Yuzuru _knew_ , though. His graceful arms were extended towards the sky in a silent plea of mercy for his beloved, his chiseled features sealed with an expression of bittersweet longing. He wasn’t a bad actor, for sure, he kept on working on his artistry as hard as he could and sometimes Brian could witness moments of its true brilliance popping up all across his skating routine. It was structured knowingly, all of the choreographic nuances in perfect tune with the music, its dramatic and climatic elements balanced out perfectly. Yuzuru’s beautiful Ina Bauer in the second half of the program took Brian’s breath away more than once. The ferociousness of the previous Romeo-themed free skate had given way to the tender wistfulness of a far more _feminine quality._ Blame it on Johnny Weir’s designer concepts with shiny rhinestones, virgin-white lace and a deep cutout to provide a glimpse of a collarbone but Brian couldn’t shake the feeling that Yuzuru embodied an almost dreamlike _Juliet_ in this fine costume of his. It was scary to simply try imagining some other male skater wearing it, not to mention it was pretty obvious that no one else would fit into its otherworldly measurements.

Sighing musingly, Brian was watching Yuzuru bow gracefully to the applauding audience to take his rightful place next to him in the Kiss & Cry afterwards. The boy settled his Pooh-san on Brian’s lap as he was trying to regain his breath after the skate, his face glistening from sweat under the merciless soffit lights. He looked ethereal and Brian thought that Nine Circles of Hell were still not enough for the one who would dare to corrupt such pureness.

 

**Chopin (The Ballade)**

Brian always thought that for skating to a classical piece authentically one had to possess something special within —inborn gracefulness and fluidity and a keenness to truly feel the music and make it possible for the audience to connect with it through a skater’s body. An individual should have a penchant for seeing and appreciating beauty and being able to relate to it on the deepest level, where there is no place for cold and calculating _reason_ but only a veritable _desire_ of conflux. Yuzuru had it within him, a genuine artistry of the highest order. Brian saw it shine in each of his movements: from the delicate flow of his limbs to the elegant tilt of his head at the beginning of the program. There was something unadulterated yet unmistakably passionate in the way he was skating to this romantic piano piece. It was mesmerizing to see the music apparently spilling itself from beneath his skating blades. It stirred and captivated the viewer and Brian himself was of no exception. Jeffrey smiled knowingly at him whenever he caught a glint of fascination in his watchful eyes. Brian was positively sure Yuzuru saw it too and the way his cheeks were glowing from satisfaction at his praise often made his own heart skip a beat.  

“You like it?” Yuzuru’s breath was still erratic after an intensive run-through and a tiny bead of sweat was sliding tantalizingly slow down his swan-like neck.

“Yes. It was amazing.” Brian raised his eyes to meet Yuzuru’s impossibly dark gaze.

“Amazing boy?” The young man’s countenance lighted up with mischief.   

“Amazing boy.”

Brian chuckled as his fingertips were itching to touch moist and tender skin of Yuzuru’s nape. Instead he only smiled wider and casted his eyes downwards to the ever cold expanse of the unfeeling ice.

 

**Phantom of the Opera**

Brian closes his eyes exhaustingly but he feels unable to fall asleep, even though it’s been one of the longest days in his whole life: the dreadful collision, the triumph of will, the miraculous resurgence to give life to hope for the future forceful return. It is painful to simply think about Yuzuru lying out there, on the ice, struggling to breathe again— his pale chin and neck spattered with red, which was making Brian’s knees weak and a nauseous lump in his throat had never seemed more real. He knew firsthand how cruel and unjust professional sport could be at times, the possibility of a _force majeure_ which couldn’t have been foreseen beforehand ever existent. No one was to blame for the accident but the tremendous responsibility of dealing with its consequences felt like a mountain on Brian’s shoulders. The moment scarlet droplets stained the collar of Yuzuru’s  opportunely red costume Brian got really scared, a whirlwind of panicked thoughts making his head pound, just when he needed his clear judgment the most. But there was something at the bottom of Yuzuru’s dazed eyes that made a shiver ran down his spine. The boy was broken but he remained unbent. The boy had fallen but he would rise again. The boy was strong enough to risk it all because of a burning desire to not give up and fight till the very end. Brian didn’t let himself entertain a mere notion of a thought that it could possibly mean _an end_ in any sense. He was trying to control his breathing as he was telling Yuzuru that his health had to stay the main priority and that he didn’t need to become a hero for he already was one. Brian had no doubts about the fact that this free skate would go to annals of figure skating history — both as powerfully inspiring and as painful as a gushing wound. Yuzuru bled his soul out on the ice on that day and the cathartic tears of relief which he couldn’t hold back after his torturous skate left Brian’s heart marked profoundly.

Part of Yuzuru’s former self had become a _phantom_ then, only to be replaced by a newer, hardier one.

Brian knew that all of the sacrifices were not in vain.

             

**Seimei ( _O_ _nmyōji_** **)**

He looked regal and overwhelmingly powerful. Each of his moves — an epitome of quiet domineering potency, the intensity of his fiery gaze ready to command beings of flesh and spirit alike. Brian thought that no demon stood a chance as he was watching the Japanese skater cast his spell over the excited public. The air was practically cracking with energy and Yuzuru’s gloved forefinger raised high above his head to point towards the sky was signifying the birth of a Legend. Bubbling happiness and pride filled Brian to the brim, his emotions threatening to overthrow his composure of a matured and experienced coach.

  _330.43_

Brian bit his lower lip, shaking his head unbelievingly. He was thrilled to the core. _Oh my God._ No words could describe that moment of absolute triumph. Uniqueness and immensity of his pupil’s talent were downing upon him anew. He saw Yuzuru hiding his face in his hands and patted his back, wanting to let him know that he was not alone there, standing at the top of the world. Tears of fulfillment were pouring down Yuzuru’s cheeks making him look so vulnerable and honest like a mere child, yet with a touch of genius that was scary.

“Why am I even crying..? I don’t know…”  Brian laughed amused at Yuzuru’s free-hearted remark. They embraced and Brian felt his heart soar, holding Yuzuru close if only for the briefest of moments. It seemed that his fingers were about to feel the outlines of wings while he was tracing Yuzuru’s shoulder blades beneath his Team Japan jacket. Although they were not of a physical nature Brian knew there still had to be a pair of invisible ones behind his back.

While watching Yuzuru struggling with unyielding English awkwardly, Brian couldn’t shake the feeling that it was not _the limit_ yet and Yuzuru had where to grow even further. Hopefully, they would walk this path of greatness side by side and there were some more historical accomplishments in store for their dedicated team.

   

**Prince (Let’s go crazy)**

“Loop! Quad loop! I want it! Still not good enough!” Yuzuru’s foot stomped capriciously, blade of his skating boot digging into the surface of the ice forcefully. Not that Brian didn’t let his stubborn pupil train that sophisticated jump again and again during their practice session. It was just Yuzuru’s known inability to stop in time, his ardency taking the best of him. Now it was Brian’s turn as a coach to protect him from overtraining. Brian noticed the way his narrow chest was raising up and down while noticeably short of breath.

“It’s enough for today, Yuzu. We’ll work on the axis more tomorrow, ok? Besides, have you already forgotten that there is a fitting of your new short program costume planned in just half an hour time? ”

Yuzuru’s refined features sharpened with barely concealed irritation and he let out a disappointed groan. After shaking Brian’s outstretched hand he headed to the changing rooms, obviously frustrated. Brian sighed in palpable relief for he had braced himself for a far more fierce resistance on his pupil’s behalf.

Sitting at his desktop and browsing through his email Brian didn’t respond to the tentative knock at his private office door immediately. But Yuzuru had come in anyway. Brian’s breath hitched as his eyes were drinking in the beautiful image in front of him. Yuzuru was dressed in all white, which highlighted each of his perfect body lines superbly, the tightness of the clinging fabric making Brian’s face suddenly grow hot. Brian’s cute embarrassment didn’t escape Yuzuru and he smirked while turning around for his coach to have a better view of him from behind.

“What do you think?” Yuzuru’s soft voice finally tore Brian out of his uncomely reverie. He cleared his throat trying to regain his bearing.

“Well…It looks great. It…It suits you very well. It really does…Ahem.”

Yuzuru turned to look at him over his shoulder and smiled this little peculiar smile of his, which was supposed to leave its recipient completely spellbound by its deadly charms.

“Good.” Yuzuru’s voice was barely above a whisper now and Brian seemed to have forgotten how to breathe once again from the strange intensity dense in the air between the two of them. Yet, the next second Yuzuru was already gone, leaving Brian on his own to delve his extremely confusing thoughts.

The whole thing seemed so terribly wrong to Brian that he felt he might be _going totally crazy_.                    

 

**Hope & Legacy**

Brian swears that he looks like a creature from another plane of existence — all shimmering and godly, super-human skating skills to match the otherworldliness of his appearance. It’s impossible to tear your eyes away when his movements are streaming like a crystal-clear river, ready to wash you away with the constantly building grade of emotions. It’s pure and poignant and completely overwhelming. Every fiber of Yuzuru’s being is emanating serene joy of becoming one with the Nature. One moment he is lively and mercurial, like a gust of wind in the vibrant leaves and the next — tranquil and immovable like silver moonlight on a warm summer night. Brian is entranced by the seemingly magical way Yuzuru is gliding across the ice. The program is subtle, tender and thoughtful and it relates to Yuzuru’s introspective side. He is exquisite and absolutely organic, vibrating on the same wavelength with the consonant, melting sounds of famous Japanese composer’s music.

 _Undine._ The word flashes in his mind vividly and he feels like a seaman listening helplessly to the distant yearning singing of a siren. He wants to encapsulate this moment to treasure it in the endmost corner of his heart, safely hidden from his guilty conscience.

_Some things are never meant to be._

He keeps on repeating this refrain every night before going to sleep. Brian tells himself that he has no right to jeopardize Yuzuru’s trust and their productive working relationship. He can’t act upon his _desire of taking_ while his prime function as a coach and mentor is to give it all without a second thought — sharing his experience and advice, providing unconditional support. Brian buries his irrelevant attraction to his extraordinary disciple under multiple layers of fatherly guardianship and he prays for Yuzuru not to catch the smallest glimpse of his personal internal libidinous hell.

He is destined to burn in it on his own while his biggest _hope_ would grow and evolve to become his greatest _legacy_.

**


End file.
